we had a big shake up at work on thursday. there was a management rif (reduction in force) and we lost 2 managers. they also pulled all of us hourly employees into a meeting and the company is offering a voluntary rif to craft(me). they want 20 volunteers from our center. we knew the management rif was coming but i think it caught everyone off-guard when they announced the hourly rif. i have been with the company 8 years and they have never done this in my center.
so the question is do i want to volunteer? no
but this has got me to thinking about my job. i have been struggling with the blahs for about 3 months now. i know i am truly blessed to have the job i have. for the most part i enjoy the work i do. i get paid really well. good benefits. flex time. 3 weeks of paid vacation plus 7 personal days. but sometimes i sit back and think God is this what i'm suppose to do for the rest of my life? i can see this as my mission field and live my life so that others see You in me, but really if i have one more person yell at me because they can't get their phone number moved over on wednesday then i just don't know if its worth it. or if i have to fix one more big huge paperwork mess because some other rep didn't do their job. i just might scream or throw a huge fit on the floor. where is the satisfaction? the company i work for no longer cares about the customer or the employee, its all about the bottom line. that's what the rif's are about. the budget. we were told that if they don't get the 20 volunteers then it will be handled by cutting work and hours. is this really where you want me God? working for a company that doesn't care.
and then i hear that still small voice that reminds me of why i'm here. others, it whispers. you can positively affect those around you. you can get the number moved and fix the paperwork and make the world around you a little better. you can do what i've called you to do no matter where you find yourself. your calling is not so much about where you are its about who you are and who I am. they need Me. but they can't see Me right now. all they know of Me is what they see in you.
Thanks for your honesty.....I also went through something recently at work where I questioned "is this all really worth it" Basically I'm tired of being someone I'm not so others will be "happy". But the end of your blog really made me think!!!! Thanks
ReplyDeleteA little to close to home right now to say much. I'm with you on the "blooming where planted" part. I want to be a person that can make a difference no matter what situation, title or station life hands me.
ReplyDeleteHonestly...
ReplyDeleteI think we all deal with this struggle. Even I find myself at a crossroads regularly. Asking God if this is where He wants me and am I even being effective or is there something else...
Maybe this is the Holy Spirit's way of keeping us humble and always seeking His face and will. And always aware of our need to have Him work through us.