"have a happy period"

***** Don't know if this is a true letter but i thought it was funny, especially since i have looked down and seen those words "have a happy period" and thought "what man wrote that".*******

This is a letter written to one of the top executives at Proctor & Gamble.

Dear Mr. XXXXXXX,
I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. xxxxxxx?
Ever suffered from"the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing? As Brand Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from "Aunt Flo". Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's privates into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.

Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:

"Have a Happy Period"

Are you kidding me? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, xxxxx? FYI, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong", or are you just picking on us?

why i blog

when my big granny died it fell on my brother and i to take care of the funeral arrangements and her belongings. all my life i watched this grandmother write in her diary. every morning and evening she would sit at the dining room table and write in her diary. i, being the noisy child, would always ask her "what ya writing" she would always reply "my life story". so you can see how this would be the only thing i would ever want from my grandmother. i would daydream about all the adventures and stories chronicled in this amazing book called a diary. i couldn't wait for the day when i would get to read this holy book. so with her passing came that day. i would finally get to sit down and read all her secret hopes and desires, all the funny stories of my mom and later us grandchildren growing up. her and my grandfather's travels to iceland and chile. you are probably by now asking yourself, why didn't you just ask your grandmother while she was alive about all this. well my grandmother was a very hard woman. this is my mom's mom and she really never wanted children or ever had the patience for children. i don't remember receiving any love from this grandmother but love is what i craved from her. and through her diary i was hoping for some secret window into her soul. that maybe she really did love us but just couldn't show it but could write it all out for us to read someday. so the day had come, i had the diaries and couldn't wait to read them. you can imagine my disappointment when i opened the first one and didn't find any stories or adventures or love. all i found was a laundry list of her day. no secret treasures, no hearts desires, no unspoken love. just mindless words of how the mailman ran late today and how the price of eggs had gone up. this was her life? this was what she spend hours and hours writing? why? why bother? so that day i determined in my heart i would not become like her. i would tell my stories and love my family and friends. on that day i started a box for squirt that i keep in my closet. it is full of letters that i have written to her over the years and that i continue to write to her. someday i will give it to her and we will read the letters together and remember what God has brought us through. someday she will have this blog and all my ramblings and she will look back and know i loved her and wanted to share my life with her and that she was a wanted child. God showed me through this process of grieving for my big granny that the only way to break a generational curse is not only through prayer but it is through the choices we make everyday. we have to look that curse in the eye and make the choices everyday to break it. when we feel ourselves sliding into those old family mindsets we must make the consciences effort to do what God has told us to do. when i feel i'm closing in on myself i must hug and kiss my children and tell them "i love you". i must pick up the phone and call my family and remind them i'm still here and out-of-sight is not out-of-mind. i must remember my friends, my peeps, that God has blessed me with and say to them i love you and lets do lunch or go for a walk or just sit together and talk. is this hard for me? yes at times this is almost physically painful, it is my flesh dying and my flesh doesn't want to die. but my heart wants to please God and this is what He requires of me.

Awaken what's inside of me

tune my heart to all You are in me

even though You're here, God come

and may the vision of You be the death of me

and even though You've given everything

Jesus come

moving day

tomorrow is moving day at work. our center manager in his infinite wisdom is doing a reorg of the office. so tomorrow at 2:30 i will be getting a new boss, a new desk, and a new cubie mate. i will still be doing the same old job just with a new view. my current cubie mate surprized me last friday as we sat and talked and worked. she told me that she has really enjoyed sitting with me and that i have been a good christian example for her. wow. i have to admit i have had my moments sitting with her. i guess you really never know the true effect you can have on people good or bad. thank you God this one was good. i've learned alot sitting with this lady, mainly how to just accept people where they are and to pray and trust God for their souls.

thanks God for the opportunity to make a difference in someones life. help me continue to be a good example to others. when i fall short and You know i will help me to humble myself and ask for forgiveness, even when its not my fault. help me to do my job everyday with joy and a song in my heart because there are always others watching and it would break my heart to cause You shame.

random thoughts

• watch out drivers!!!! freddie has passed her written test and will be driving tonight in the albertson's parking lot. she drives for class on friday and i just can't send her out there with no experience, but i just can't let her drive my truck in traffic. not yet anyways.
• marme - i have decided we need a womens retreat every month. can you handle that?
• moe made show choir for school!!!!!!! yeah we are so happy, one more school function to attend.
• squirt is at her own retreat. wonder if she'll come back as relaxed and full of God as i did?
• hubby's truck is finally running and has taken him to austin for his first custom welding job. he has designed and is building a staircase for some good friends.
• i really love to do laundry even though i gripe about it.
• la, christal and a - did i mention how wonderful y'all sounded at the retreat? well y'all are wonderful....thanks again.
• marme - did i mention we need a retreat about every 3 months. is that better?
• kdp's birthday is monday.
• freddie is making me watch beaches.....again.
• my house is so quiet with only 2 kids here. did i really just say that?
• OK marme - lets compromise....how about every 6 months for a womens retreat?

mary and martha

the most amazing thing about this weekend was the way that everyone came together and just did everything. there was no bickering or fighting or hurt feelings or "marthas" upset they were stuck in the kitchen doing all the work. everyone (as far as i could tell) was just sitting at the feet of Jesus. yes we did cook and serve each other but it was out of love and not "have to". i was one of the kitchen helpers and it was amazing how unstressed it was. at one point i started smelling wonderful brisket wafting up the staircase and i looked at the clock and realized it was 5 minutes until dinner. teresa and i looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders and said well we better check the food. no stress, no pressure we just laid out the food and everyone ate. it was beautiful. i have never experienced anything like it. i would even go so far as to say we had a little glimpse of heaven. everyone serving and worshipping and loving one another. it was wonderful.

wow

wow

thats the only word i have right now

wow

the womens retreat this weekend was just

wow

i am so spirtually, emotionally, and physically exhausted right now

wow

if you didn't get to go this year start praying and planning now about attending next year cause

wow

drivers ed

ok all week i have been taking my freddie to drivers ed class and every night as i'm waiting to pick her up i watch all the little kids coming out of the door. yes i said little kids cause thats what they are little kids. none of these kids look old enough to tie their shoes much less drive a car. and the really scary part is i started driving when i was 14. a whole year earlier than these kids. what was my mom thinking? how could you let a 14 year old drive a car. i'm sure she had her reasons but there is no way i'm letting squirt behind the wheel. so let this blog be a warning to everyone watch out cause they are letting toddlers drivers now.

drama

we had a minor meltdown in our house last night.

the following conversation happened 30 minutes past squirt's bedtime last night.
side note - today was picture day

mark - you need to quit trying on clothes and go to bed.

squirt - WAAAHHHHHHH

mark (with a look of bewilderment on his face) - whats wrong?

squirt - i just want to look pretty for picture day. WAAAHHHHHHHH

needless to say mom had to step in and calm the storm.

down

feeling the let down of a busy week.

my sister is on her way home, the kids and i are just wandering around the house trying not to get on each others nerves. freddie and moe are down, i'm down and poor squirt is just being herself, wondering why everyone is down.

i have eaten like crazy this week. must get back on track, but the womens retreat is coming up and i know i'll just be tempted to overeat. oh well...tomorrow is another day.

i'm tired i think i'll take a nap.

mi vida loca

first off thanks for all your prayers. God really moved fast this week and there were times i didn't have the words to pray but i know y'all did. below is a brief synopsis of my week.

sunday morning - mark and i decide to call the lawyer and start the process to become freddie and moe's legal guardians. my fear....this will push my sister over the edge but it must be done so that we can properly care for the kids.

monday afternoon - we take freddie down to the dmv to pre-register for the drivers ed course she is starting the following monday. they won't let me sign her paperwork because i'm not her legal guardian. this is just one example of the many roadblocks we have hit in the last few months.

monday night - call my sister and ask if mark can come pick her up the next day so that she can sign freddie's paperwork. she lives 2 hours away and doesn't have a car. while we are on the phone she breaks down crying and asks if she can come live with us. this really catches me off guard, i've already told her months ago that she could NEVER live with us. i tell her that i couldn't give her an answer right then and that we would discuss it when she got here. after i hang up i break down in tears and tell my husband he would need to make all decisions concerning the kids because i can't deal with any of this. after a good cry i come back to my senses and we decide to proceed with our plans of obtaining legal guardianship.

tuesday morning - as mark is driving to pick up my sister he calls the lawyer. after they get some general info they inform him that the lawyer is leaving on vacation that afternoon and it will be 2 weeks before we can make an appointment. mark says ok and leaves his tn# so that the para-legal can call him back with an appointment time. 2 hours later they call back and ask if he can be in their office at 1:30 to start the paperwork. he says yes.
we have decided to wait until friday night to tell my sister.
why friday you ask....we want to talk to her with the most privacy and the least amount of suspicion from the kids and this means we need both girls out of the house. freddie works on friday night and squirt has been invited to a sleepover on friday night so friday it is. also i don't want to tell her and then leave her alone so it needs to be when she can be watched. remember her suicide attempt 5 months ago is what started all of this.

the lawyer advises us that as long as my sister is in agreement it should all go fairly smoothly and only take about 60 days. big plus she doesn't have to appear in court.

friday night - how do i tell my suicidal bi-polar sister that i want custody of her kids?
this has been the thought that has chased me all week.
at this point i don't know how she will take it.
will she be angry, confused, relieved, paranoid, or all of the above?
well when it was all said and done she was relieved, she understands that she could not live here and that this will be the best thing for us all. she had actually been worried about what would happen to the kids if something were to happen to her. we explained that she was not signing over her rights she was just letting us have permission to care for the kids. we even decided that we would never revoke our legal guardianship. our lawyer explained that once my sister is stable and able to care for the kids we could revoke our rights. my sister wants us to never do this. she needs the stability of not worrying about who will care for them and if we are their legal guardians she never has to worry (in theory - us worriers know she will always worry but this will give her peace of mind when she does worry). she knows we will always care for them.

so this was my week. and in a few short weeks i will be the "legal" mom of 3 kids and step-mom of 1. for the grand total of 4 kids. WOW. who would've thought. how my life has changed over the last 5 months.

we never know what God has planned and if He had told me all of this i probably would have laughed at Him or said "no thanks i have enough on my plate". thanks God for giving me just what i need even when i think i don't need it.


p.s. i didn't laugh inappropriately. yeah God!!!!

rebel

i'm feeling like a rebel.

i had a dentist appointment today and i didn't even brush my teeth before i went.

yea i'm a rebel.

you might not want to hang around me i could be a very bad influence.

next i think i'm gonna go run around with scissors.

quote of the day

temptation is not only an opportunity to do the wrong thing, but an opportunity to do the right thing.

more prayer

well the decision has been made and all thats left is the telling.

when God moves fast He really moves.

sorry guys i can't tell y'all yet, i have to have a heart to heart with someone first, so please continue to pray. i need the wisdom to do this right and at the right time.

i also have this weird condition, if you can call it that, whenever i have to have a serious talk with someone i have a tendency to laugh. yes i said laugh. uncontrollable, inappropriate laughter. i know its weird. God has really impressed upon me that its all about the way i say it. so please pray i don't mess this up. my tongue can be a most unruly member, but my intentions are pure.

pray, pray, pray

God is working very fast on some things i have been praying about.

mark will be going to get my sister tomorrow for a visit.

we need to make some huge decisions involving the family.

all i can say right now is pray.

i am paralyzed by the enormousness of the decision we need to make.

just keep praying.

are y'all praying.

thanks.

hope

i am sensing something new around my house....i think its hope. freddie is at last settling in and realizing this isn't such a bad place after all. don't get me wrong she still misses her mom and sister, but she has been a much happier and contented girl. we have had many significant conversations and she actually wants to make friends and get involved. 16 is such a hard age especially when you get uprooted and made to live with people who are so different from your mom. squirt was gone all last weekend so freddie and i got to spend lots of quality time together. we had some good one on one time. just continue to pray for us. we are needing to make serious decisions regarding the kids and we need God's perfect will. its just such a hard place to be. our conviction all along has been to do what is best for the kids and sometimes what is best for the kids is not what is best for my sister. how do you explain to a crazy person that her kids can't get the best care unless you take them away from her for a time. how can she concentrate on getting better when you take her hope away.

we need you God. we need You to give us the wisdom we need to make this decision. guide our path and open the doors that need to be open and close the doors that need to be closed.

been sick

sorry A i know you worry when i don't blog but i've been sick. feeling better today but still have some congestion and a runny nose. it all started wednesday with a real bad pressure headache. so when i got off work i ran right home, made sure the kids had dinner, took some benadryl and put myself to bed. i slept from 6:30pm til 5:15 am. took care of the headache but now i've been battling the congestion and runny nose. i can't figure out if its a head cold or allergies. leaning towards the head cold since i'm only allergic to cats and dogs and i've stayed away from my cats. oh well this too shall pass.
whenever i'm sick its reminds me of how much i take for granted feeling good. and what a miracle it is that we don't get sick more. i'm not a germ-a-phobic like some. my mom's first piece of mothering advise when i brought squirt home from the hospital was let her get dirty or she will be retarded. no lie these were her exact words. of course you have to understand my mom. she was born in 1941 and was premature. being my grandmothers 1 and only child and taking into account my grandmothers lack of experience its a wonder my mom survived at all. you see my grandmother at that time thought the way to keep my mom healthy was to bathe her several times a day. after several sicknesses the doctor finally told her if she continued to bathe my mom in this manner she would be dead within a year. her premature body needed to build up immunities to the germs around her. he knew what we have forgotten. kids need to get dirty. they need to play in the dirt and make mud pies and feed them to their sister or the gullible neighbor kid. they need to ride their bikes up and down the street from dawn till dusk in the summer time. they need to catch frogs and lightnin' bugs and walk around with a pocket full of rollie pollies. we need to quit washing them down with anti-bacterial wipes and let them be kids.

how to season a cast iron skillet

how to season:
Wash skillet in hot, soapy water. Rinse thoroughly and dry completely.
Apply a thin coating of melted shortening (Crisco, for example) or vegetable oil with a soft cloth or paper towel.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place skillet UPSIDE DOWN on top oven rack.
Place foil on a cookie sheet and place on bottom rack of oven. This will catch the drippings from the skillet.
Bake in oven for one hour.
Turn oven off. DO NOT OPEN. Allow skillet to cool down in oven (several hours). There may be a film on your cookware, this comes off after use. You will have to use it a couple times as a test.

tips after use:
Clean skillet after use while still warm with hot water and a plastic scrub brush.
DO NOT put in dishwasher or wash with soap or dishwashing detergent.
Dry cast iron cookware thoroughly after washing, then spray lightly with vegetable oil (Pam, etc.) Wipe dry and store. Never store cookware with lid on; cast iron cookware needs air circulation.
Reseason cookware after cooking beans or acidic foods (such as tomatoes). Frying or cooking foods with fat content helps expedite the seasoning process.
Do not use cast iron cookware for storage of food.

Happy cooking....you can start now and pass down a seasoned pan to your daughters or daughters-in-law. my cast iron skillet is probably 40 years old and they are very hard to wear out. one day it will be squirt's if she wants it. i also have one for freddie from my big granny.

sunday dinners and my little granny

we have started a tradition in our home mostly out of necessity. instead of going out to eat after church we come home and have sunday dinner. its never anything too fancy, usually something i can throw in the crock pot. sometimes its just us and sometimes we invite a friend or two. never too many because i can only fit 10 people at the table comfortably and i want everyone at the table....kids and all. the purpose is to have the whole family together.

well i am a very sentimental person and the silliest things make me cry. today i made a big pan of cornbread for dinner and of course i made it in my little granny's cast iron skillet. that had to be the best cornbread i have ever eaten. if you have never had cornbread cooked in a perfectly seasoned pan then you are missing out. i grew up with grannies that could cook and let me tell you they cooked big home style meals. to this day my favorite meal is beans, cornbread, and fried potatoes w/sliced onions and fresh sliced garden tomatoes.

well anyways, my little granny would get up every morning and make fresh biscuits and for dinner we always had fresh cornbread. well my cornbread today tasted just like my little granny's and i kinda teared up. partly out of pride that after 22 years of making cornbread i finally produced a pan that would make my granny proud and partly out of just missing her. she would have loved my cornbread and would have made sure everyone tasted it and told me how good it was. she was like that she made sure all the kids that wanted to learn how to cook had plenty to do in her kitchen. she was always very patient and even if what you cooked came out bad she would still taste it and say it was good. but then isn't that what grannies are suppose to do.

big step of faith

i've started this post so many times, here and in my head. i've just found it hard to put in all into words and sometimes you just need to hold on to things before you blab it out to the whole world.

last monday after much prayer.....my husband quit his job and is now self-employed. this is something he has wanted for a while and has been working towards for the past 20 odd years. now i have to admit that it was my fear that kept him from doing this 3 years ago. ouch....that stings. i don't like to admit that i've held my husband back in any way. i always want to be the supportive encouraging wife, not the fearful nagging wife.

i realized after pastors message on wednesday that sometimes we can pray about things for so long that we use it as a road block. sometimes you just have to move in the direction that God has called you to and then let Him provide. i also realized that i constantly want God to prove Himself to me instead of just trusting Him to take care of things.

so here i am Lord just trusting You. whatever comes i will put my trust in You.