Thursday, October 30, 2008
kitten season
ok the neighbors cat had kittens so if there is anybody out there who wants a cute little kitten please let me know. or my husband is going to load them up and take them to the animal shelter. i hate the thought of doing that but we can't adopt 5 kittens and the neighbor will just let them run wild all over the neighborhood without shots or neutering. we are going to keep one which brings our cat count up to 3 and 3 is our limit. so there are 4 very cute lovable kittens needing good homes. so please please please someone adopt a kitten.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
my man
....just came wandering in with his little white sack from the dentist.
he looks just like a little boy with bad news.
3 cavities and a wisdom tooth that needs to come out. ouch!
thank you God we have dental insurance.
he looks just like a little boy with bad news.
3 cavities and a wisdom tooth that needs to come out. ouch!
thank you God we have dental insurance.
safe for now
it appears my job is safe for now. of course i could go in tomorrow and it could all change, but for today i still have a job.
all day i have been thinking what a year this has been. about this time last year was when all the layoffs started and i have to say the hardest part has not been the thought of losing my job it has been the not knowing if i will lose my job.
the waiting...the wondering...the worrying.
yes i am a worrier. i try not to be and i have gotten better, but the fact remains.
i worry.
not about alot of stuff but the unknown is right up there among my big time worries.
so alot of time has been spent this year seeking God and asking Him to help me not worry. asking Him to plan my steps. He has truly been good to us and for that i am thankful.
all day i have been thinking what a year this has been. about this time last year was when all the layoffs started and i have to say the hardest part has not been the thought of losing my job it has been the not knowing if i will lose my job.
the waiting...the wondering...the worrying.
yes i am a worrier. i try not to be and i have gotten better, but the fact remains.
i worry.
not about alot of stuff but the unknown is right up there among my big time worries.
so alot of time has been spent this year seeking God and asking Him to help me not worry. asking Him to plan my steps. He has truly been good to us and for that i am thankful.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
we find our tears
Part of the reason women are so tired is because we are spending so much energy trying to "keep it together." So much energy devoted to suppressing the pain and keeping a good appearance. "I'm gonna harden my heart," sang Rindy Ross. "I'm going to swallow my tears." A terrible, costly way to live your life. Part of this is driven by fear that the pain will overwhelm us. That we will be consumed by our sorrow. It's an understandable fear - but it is no more true than the fear we had of the dark as children. Grief, dear sisters, is good. Grief helps to heal our hearts. Why, Jesus himself was a "man of sorrows, acquainted with grief." (Isa. 53:3)
Let the tears come. Get alone, get to your car or your bedroom or the shower and let the tears come. Let the tears come. It is the only kind thing to do for your woundedness. Allow yourself to feel again. And feel you will - many things. Anger. That's okay. Anger's not a sin (Eph. 4:26). Remorse. Of course you do. Fear. Yes, that makes sense. Jesus can handle the fear as well. In fact, there is no emotion you can bring up that Jesus can't handle. (Look at the Psalms - they are a raging sea of emotions).
Let it all out.
As Augustine wrote in his Confessions, "The tears . . . streamed down, and I let them flow as freely as they would, making of them a pillow for my heart. On them it rested." Grief is a form of validation; it says the wound mattered. It mattered. You mattered. That's not the way life was supposed to go. There are unwept tears down in there - the tears of a little girl who is lost and frightened. The tears of a teenage girl who's been rejected and has no place to turn. No one understands. The tears of a woman whose life has been hard and lonely and nothing close to her dreams.
Let them come.
(Captivating,101-102)
that last sentence really got me. my life has had its times of "being hard and lonely and nothing close to my dreams." its nice to know God has my back and with Him i can let down my guard and just let it all out.
Let the tears come. Get alone, get to your car or your bedroom or the shower and let the tears come. Let the tears come. It is the only kind thing to do for your woundedness. Allow yourself to feel again. And feel you will - many things. Anger. That's okay. Anger's not a sin (Eph. 4:26). Remorse. Of course you do. Fear. Yes, that makes sense. Jesus can handle the fear as well. In fact, there is no emotion you can bring up that Jesus can't handle. (Look at the Psalms - they are a raging sea of emotions).
Let it all out.
As Augustine wrote in his Confessions, "The tears . . . streamed down, and I let them flow as freely as they would, making of them a pillow for my heart. On them it rested." Grief is a form of validation; it says the wound mattered. It mattered. You mattered. That's not the way life was supposed to go. There are unwept tears down in there - the tears of a little girl who is lost and frightened. The tears of a teenage girl who's been rejected and has no place to turn. No one understands. The tears of a woman whose life has been hard and lonely and nothing close to her dreams.
Let them come.
(Captivating,101-102)
that last sentence really got me. my life has had its times of "being hard and lonely and nothing close to my dreams." its nice to know God has my back and with Him i can let down my guard and just let it all out.
Monday, October 20, 2008
get up
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds.
IF SOMEONE SAYS "YOU'RE HOT" YOU SAY?
Jesus is alright
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR LIFE?
make me over
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE LONG GOAL?
smells like teen spirit - how funny is that
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Lord (i don't know)
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
the fad of the land
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR LIFE?
pure
WHAT DO YOU OFTEN THINK ABOUT?
one and lonely
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR EX?
shine
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON WHO LIKES YOU?
hero
WHAT DOES YOUR BEST FRIEND ALWAYS SAY TO YOU?
let it all come out
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
not done yet
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SAYING?
You led me
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
clothes
WHAT WILL BE PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?
in the belly of the whale
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
secret kingdom
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
thank you
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR HOUSE?
in wonder
WHAT WILL YOU NAME THIS?
get up
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds.
IF SOMEONE SAYS "YOU'RE HOT" YOU SAY?
Jesus is alright
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR LIFE?
make me over
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE LONG GOAL?
smells like teen spirit - how funny is that
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Lord (i don't know)
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
the fad of the land
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR LIFE?
pure
WHAT DO YOU OFTEN THINK ABOUT?
one and lonely
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR EX?
shine
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON WHO LIKES YOU?
hero
WHAT DOES YOUR BEST FRIEND ALWAYS SAY TO YOU?
let it all come out
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
not done yet
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SAYING?
You led me
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
clothes
WHAT WILL BE PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?
in the belly of the whale
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
secret kingdom
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
thank you
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR HOUSE?
in wonder
WHAT WILL YOU NAME THIS?
get up
Saturday, October 18, 2008
offer your heart
was reading this this morning and just wanted to share
Now for one of the most beautiful mysteries of the feminine heart.
Women minister something to the heart of God that men do not. Look at the record. It was a woman who rushed into the Pharisee's house uninvited and washed Jesus' feet with her tears, dried them with her hair and kissed them in an act of intimate repentant worship. It was a woman who broke the alabaster vase over Jesus' head, anointing him with oil and the fragrance of her sacrificial worship filled the room. It was women who followed Jesus from Galilee to care for his needs. It was women who stayed at the foot of the cross offering him the comfort of their presence until Jesus breathed his last. It was to women that Jesus first revealed himself after he rose from the dead and it was women who first "clasped his feet and worshiped him" as the Risen, Victorious Lord.
Women hold a special place in the heart of God. A woman's worship brings Jesus immense pleasure and a deep ministry. You can minister to the heart of God. You impact Him. You matter. Jesus desires you to pour out your love on him in extravagant worship that ministers to his heart. This is not just for women who have the time; women who are really spiritual. You are made for romance and the only one who can offer it to you consistently and deeply is Jesus.
Offer your heart to him.
(Captivating, 124-125)
Now for one of the most beautiful mysteries of the feminine heart.
Women minister something to the heart of God that men do not. Look at the record. It was a woman who rushed into the Pharisee's house uninvited and washed Jesus' feet with her tears, dried them with her hair and kissed them in an act of intimate repentant worship. It was a woman who broke the alabaster vase over Jesus' head, anointing him with oil and the fragrance of her sacrificial worship filled the room. It was women who followed Jesus from Galilee to care for his needs. It was women who stayed at the foot of the cross offering him the comfort of their presence until Jesus breathed his last. It was to women that Jesus first revealed himself after he rose from the dead and it was women who first "clasped his feet and worshiped him" as the Risen, Victorious Lord.
Women hold a special place in the heart of God. A woman's worship brings Jesus immense pleasure and a deep ministry. You can minister to the heart of God. You impact Him. You matter. Jesus desires you to pour out your love on him in extravagant worship that ministers to his heart. This is not just for women who have the time; women who are really spiritual. You are made for romance and the only one who can offer it to you consistently and deeply is Jesus.
Offer your heart to him.
(Captivating, 124-125)
Sunday, October 5, 2008
my femininity...
where did i leave it?
i spent some girlfriend time this weekend. just hanging out and getting our toes and nails done and shopping and laughing and eating dessert. just general having fun and as we where shopping we were in a girly store and i liked alot of what i saw but i was having trouble loving any of it. it was as if i was so far removed from the feminine side of myself. there was a time that i loved jewelry and girly stuff. Could life happening have shifted my priorities that i don't even feel like a woman anymore. i must admit i have gotten a little lazy. but i want to feel pretty and look pretty and take care of myself. so whats wrong with me? where is my girlness? why do i do for everyone else and put myself last? i don't have any answers just lots of questions.
i spent some girlfriend time this weekend. just hanging out and getting our toes and nails done and shopping and laughing and eating dessert. just general having fun and as we where shopping we were in a girly store and i liked alot of what i saw but i was having trouble loving any of it. it was as if i was so far removed from the feminine side of myself. there was a time that i loved jewelry and girly stuff. Could life happening have shifted my priorities that i don't even feel like a woman anymore. i must admit i have gotten a little lazy. but i want to feel pretty and look pretty and take care of myself. so whats wrong with me? where is my girlness? why do i do for everyone else and put myself last? i don't have any answers just lots of questions.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
how funny is this
i have been steadily working on 2 more college classes, american history and accounting. i knocked out history first and have been chipping away at the accounting class when i discovered today that my textbook only goes up to chapter 12 and i need chapters 13 thru 15 to finish the course. so after a quick call to the school they determined they had sent me the wrong edition. so they are shipping me the right book.
have i mentioned squirt has a boyfriend. they are not allowed to date but they eat lunch together everyday and talk constantly on the phone. have i mentioned i'm not ready for this. we have met him and his parents and they are very nice people other than the fact that their 6'2" football playing son likes my baby.
have i mentioned squirt has a boyfriend. they are not allowed to date but they eat lunch together everyday and talk constantly on the phone. have i mentioned i'm not ready for this. we have met him and his parents and they are very nice people other than the fact that their 6'2" football playing son likes my baby.
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