Friday, January 11, 2008

a long and winding road

when i first accepted Jesus i never really gave much thought to what an actual walk with God was. what does it look like? how do you do it? how do you know this is real? i was so in love i was willing to go anywhere and do anything He asked me too. i am still in love but it has deepened and matured. i'm still making the same mistakes but i now have Someone to pick me up and dust me off and set me back on my feet again and give me a subtle push in the right direction.

some people throw the word hero in my direction, but i sure don't feel like one. is what i'm doing really that amazing? i don't feel amazing. i feel so unworthy and undeserving of anyones admiration. most days i feel that if i stop doggie-paddling i will drown. how can someone this pitiful be a hero? OK enough of this pity stuff.

God has taught me a valuable and precious lesson over the last 6 months. He has taken all the years of abuse and turned them around. He has given me the most amazing husband. i don't have the right words to describe the healing that has taken place in my heart and most of it was done through the love a good man. i wish i could go into more detail but its just not in me right now. sll i can say is GOd is so good.

1 comment:

  1. this post is what makes you a REAL hero. a real person, just following Jesus through this life, obediently, with all your frailty and failures. you keep going, following in His steps. scared at times, but trusting. you show us how it's done...this walking by faith stuff. that makes you a hero to me. and Jesus smiles.

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