30 days

for the last 30 days i have been fasting from sweets. you may be asking yourself, Why? Why would you even consider doing something crazy like that well the reason is simple. i self medicate with food and sweets are a weakness for me. no matter what my mood food will fix it. if i'm bored, stressed, upset, angry, depressed, food is always there for me. a piece, bar, or bag of chocolate will solve all of my problems. instead of turning to God as my source i was turning to candy, cakes, pies and cookies. you name it i would use it to drown my sorrows, or cheer me up, or celebrate with friends. so to put it rather simply food has become my god. before you shout me down for blasphemy let me explain further. i love Jesus. He is my savior but i have allowed food to become my lord. i have given food power over my life. i have allowed my flesh to rule me instead of allowing God to rule me. God wants all of me not just the parts i'm willing to give Him or the things that are easy to give Him. my flesh wants to call all the shots but i have to show my flesh that i'm not in control, God is. so i fast and this won't be the last time. when i get out of control in my eating i will fast again and continue to discipline my flesh. Thank you God for showing me again and again that You have my best in mind. that you do not want to punish me only discipline me into Your image. an image i will never achieve this side of heaven but something You want me to strive for until that day that You call me home.


on a side note for all you pre-menopausal women. thru the last 30 days i have gone thru 2 times of the month without chocolate and without any pmdd. impossible you say how did you not go crazy and rip your family and friends to shreds. well to be quite honest it was the most calm pre-menstrual weeks of my life. up until this time i fully thought i was a sufferer of pmdd. the week prior to my period has always been bad mentally. i would often feel like i was going full tilt crazy, well now i think its the sugar. during the fast the only pm symptom i would have would be the day before, then i would start and everything would be fine again. a definite improvement over the 5 to 7 days of mental hell i would go thru prior to the fast.