how did that happen?

i have a little routine going. i post and then i read blogs. so tonight i post and then start reading blogs and its like everyone was on hyper blog drive. i just checked blogs on sat morning so where did all these posts come from? what happened? i'm not complaining it was nice to have lots of new posts to read. i was just wondering if i missed something.

moe and the killer elf

we have decided to start a new christmas tradition this year. it is a tradition that a friend of mine has done with her kids and we thought it sounded like fun. we also wanted to do something that was new and could become our tradition and not a combining of everyones traditions. the tradition involves a christmas elf that comes out of hiding the day after thanksgiving and every morning hides in a different spot in the house. the game is to try to find his new hiding spot every day. the kids thought it sounded fun until i got to the part about the elf moving to a new hiding spot while everyone was sleeping. the thought of this elf creeping through the house while he was sleeping put moe over the edge. he went on and on about how creepy that would be to wake up and find an elf looking at him. so we have come to a compromise. we now have a christmas moose that is not allowed to hide in moe's bedroom. the kids are having fun finding him every morning and sometimes i move him in the middle of the day when they aren't looking. just not into moe's room.

30 days

for the last 30 days i have been fasting from sweets. you may be asking yourself, Why? Why would you even consider doing something crazy like that well the reason is simple. i self medicate with food and sweets are a weakness for me. no matter what my mood food will fix it. if i'm bored, stressed, upset, angry, depressed, food is always there for me. a piece, bar, or bag of chocolate will solve all of my problems. instead of turning to God as my source i was turning to candy, cakes, pies and cookies. you name it i would use it to drown my sorrows, or cheer me up, or celebrate with friends. so to put it rather simply food has become my god. before you shout me down for blasphemy let me explain further. i love Jesus. He is my savior but i have allowed food to become my lord. i have given food power over my life. i have allowed my flesh to rule me instead of allowing God to rule me. God wants all of me not just the parts i'm willing to give Him or the things that are easy to give Him. my flesh wants to call all the shots but i have to show my flesh that i'm not in control, God is. so i fast and this won't be the last time. when i get out of control in my eating i will fast again and continue to discipline my flesh. Thank you God for showing me again and again that You have my best in mind. that you do not want to punish me only discipline me into Your image. an image i will never achieve this side of heaven but something You want me to strive for until that day that You call me home.


on a side note for all you pre-menopausal women. thru the last 30 days i have gone thru 2 times of the month without chocolate and without any pmdd. impossible you say how did you not go crazy and rip your family and friends to shreds. well to be quite honest it was the most calm pre-menstrual weeks of my life. up until this time i fully thought i was a sufferer of pmdd. the week prior to my period has always been bad mentally. i would often feel like i was going full tilt crazy, well now i think its the sugar. during the fast the only pm symptom i would have would be the day before, then i would start and everything would be fine again. a definite improvement over the 5 to 7 days of mental hell i would go thru prior to the fast.

my family

so much to say

i have so much to say but can't quite find the right words. the last 2 weeks have been non-stop crazy around here. this time of the year always makes me very sentimental. i like to remember all the christmas' past and think about how some people have only been in my life for a short time but have made such a big impact.

the last few days i have been thinking about squirts grandpa. his name was buster and he was one of a kind. he was her dad's father and he truly loved her without reservation. she could do no wrong in his eyes. she was the youngest grandchild and had him wrapped around her little finger. also it didn't hurt that he babysat her the 1st four years of her life so that i wouldn't have to put her in daycare.

when she was 4 months old buster had a massive heart attack and had to have a quadruple bypass. the day after his surgery the icu nurses couldn't get him to settle down until they promised to let me sneak her in to see him. so one of the nurses brought me around through a side door and snuck us into his room. all he needed was to see his girl.

his birthday is dec 22nd and every year i would make him his favorite pie, egg custard. he is the only person i know who likes this pie so i taught myself how to make it so he could have his special treat. he would go crazy when i brought it to him and he would always eat a piece right away to make sure i made it right. after that he would hide it so no one else would eat any. not that any of us would. he has been gone now 2 years but we have the comfort of knowing we will see him in heaven one day. his salvation story was nothing short of a miracle. squirt prayed for that man everyday for about 10 years until his heart finally soften and he accepted Jesus as his savior. she had such an unwavering faith that he would accept Jesus one day and she got to see her prayers answered. whenever they were together he would dance with her and now one day they will dance in heaven. i am so glad God blessed us with the love of this man. he was always a loving grandfather to squirt and a friend to me even when me and his son split up. but most of all he was an honest hardworking man. a man everyone was proud to know.
we love you buster and miss you very much.

hallelujah!!!

i'm back. i know y'all missed me. i have not had internet for the last 6 days. no blogs for 6 days. it was torture. i can't tell you how many long phone conversations i have had with the phone company. i'm almost ashamed to say that i work for them. i now have a new found compassion for our customers. God bless 'em.

to bring everyone up to speed.

the court date is set for november 30th. please pray nothing happens to mess it up.

my 19 year old niece, kay, is pregnant. this is the older sister of freddie and moe.

work is work, nothing new there.

i am set to start classes online jan 7th. pray hard - its been 20 some years since i've been in school. my brain just might explode.

no iffer did our family pics on saturday and they are awesome. i will be posting a slide show soon.

the boys start hardball today and they have a tournament on the 1st of dec. more stinky jerseys.

black thursday

we had a big meeting at work today and they are firing 18 people in my department. they are doing it nicely and asking for volunteers and if they don't get 18 volunteers they will start at the bottom of the seniority list and go up until they have 18. i will not be losing my job in this round but it just makes me so sad for the people who will. some of these people i know very well and have worked beside for years. some of these people are single moms. how will christmas be merry or bright when they have to pack up their desks on dec 15th and face the fact that they have no job.

sorry guys no happy blog today, my heart is too heavy.

frustration

talked to the lawyer today and they will be serving the kids dad on tuesday or wednesday. once they serve him we will have to wait another 20 days.

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ok i feel a little better now.

freddie just told she was fired from her job tonight, over the phone.

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that really stinks. i don't blame them for firing her just don't do it over the phone. thats just wrong.

new name

ok i'm tired of rw so i will now be rhondiemarie. my family nickname is ya-ya or rhonda-ree but since we already have a ree i will go with rhondiemarie. so if you see a comment from rhondiemarie its me.

surprise, surprise

we got a call from our lawyer on wednesday and they found a current address on freddie and moe's dad and surprise it's here in town. imagine our shock. they are going to attempt to serve him so we will see what comes of it. i'm not expecting much from him but it's just weird that he has been here all this time. of course it could be false information or another guy by his name so we will see what happens, either way it pushes the court day back. we would have been scheduled for court on nov 9th but now it could be later. i just want this to be done and over. we really need to get the kids on insurance before moe breaks another bone and they both need counseling. during this time i have realized it really stinks to not have insurance and before everyone comments on all the wonderful agencies out there, don't. i cannot tell you how many of these wonderful agencies i have contacted and because we are the working poor they can't offer anything or they just don't return your calls or they can't help because we took the kids instead of having the state place them with us.

sorry guys i guess i'm a little more frustrated than i thought.
so let me tell you what i know to be true.

God will take care of everything insurance or no insurance, state agencies or no state agencies. He has been our source even before we took the kids and He will not leave us. everyday i need to be reminded that He is in control and even the little nuisances are a part of His plan. we have been able to offer the kids a stable home life with no fear of the utilities being shut off or having to move every year or will they be able to eat tonight. we may not be doing everything perfect but we have love and i truly can't imagine my life any other way. thank you God for giving me just what i need even when i don't realize it's just what i need.