my boss from my very first adult job passed away a few weeks ago. as i was reading her obituary i was struck with something her son said. the obituary stated that his mom was a praying woman who led many people to the Lord, and was a light to many. wonderful words for his mom.
when i worked for this woman, which was about 23 years ago i was as close to not knowing the Lord as a person could get. during my 3 years of employment i never felt the love of Jesus as i know it today. i would have to be honest and say i only felt judgment, shame, and a feeling of never quite doing my job good enough. as a matter of fact when i left this job i purposed in my heart and mind that if being a christian meant being like her i didn't want anything to do with it.
so what happened? was it me? was my heart so hard that not even this praying church woman could see any good in me?
i'm not sure what the answers are but it has made me realize...am i as guilty as her?
how many people have i treated shamefully or ignored?
how many people have i stepped across or pushed aside to get to where i am without so much as a second glance?
how many people have decided they don't want to be christian if they have to be like me?
Lord forgive me if this is true.
