God wants you to know

Before the beginning of time, I knew you. I knew what color your eyes would be, and I could hear the sound of your laughter. Like a proud father who carries a picture of his daughter, I carried the image of you in My eyes, for you were created in my image. Before the beginning of time I chose you. I spoke your name into the heavens, and I smiled as its melody resounded off the walls of My heart.

You are Mine. My love for you extends farther than the stars in the sky and deeper than the ocean. You are My pearl of great price, the one for whom I gave everything. I cradle you in the palm of My hand. I love you even in the face of your failure.

Nothing you say or do can cause Me to stop loving you. I am relentless in My pursuit of you.

Run from Me--I will love you.
Spurn Me--I will love you.
Reject yourself--I will love you.

You see My love for you was slain before the foundations of the world and I have never regretted the sacrifice I made for you at Calvary.

When I see every part of who you are, I marvel at the work of My hands, for I whispered words of longing and desire and you came into existence.

You are beautiful, and I take pleasure in you--heart, mind, and body.

You are My desire.

When you turn your head in shame and despise what i have made, still I reach for you with gentle passion. You are My beloved and I am yours.


adapted from 1 John 3:2, Isaiah 43:4, Matthew 13:46, Ephesians 1:4, Revelation 13:8, Psalm 194:4, Song of Solomon 7:10; 6:3 by Regina Franklin

shes done

i was just checking my blog and couldn't believe my last post was at the beginning of the school year and it was about my daughter.

here it is the end of the school year and she has graduated. no more high school. no more notes to write. no more school assemblies and trips. no more permission slips. no more parent teacher conferences.

the days go slowly but the years fly.

as she sleeps...

...i can see the baby she was 17 years ago.

...i can imagine her future as she steps to the edge of adulthood.

...i can pray she will never change and allow the world to make her hard.

...i can hope the hopes that all mothers hope for.

...i can wish she still listened to veggie tales and not hard core christian metal.

...i can dream for her.

my labor of love

i have recently taken up quilting. about a year ago i decided i needed a new hobby. i have always sewn but nothing was really getting me stirred up. when i really searched my heart i realized i wanted to do something that would have a legacy. i wanted to make something that my children and someday wayyyyy in the future my grandchildren would use.


i still have several quilts that my grandmother and 1st mother-in-law made me and they get more and more special everytime i use them. or when i see one of my kids wrapped up in them. at my granny's house she didn't own any blankets that i remember all she had was quilts and we used them for everything.


so about a year ago i decided to start making quilts....it couldn't be that hard right? right! i quickly learned there was so much more to quilting that just sewing a top together. the piecing is just the start then you have to be concerned about battings and needles and thread and backings and sashings and borders and marking pens or pencils and on and on and on and on. so in my quest i found and have joined a quilters guild. i am the youngest member at 42 the next youngest lady is 66 and the oldest lady is 91. we get together every wednesday and have an old fashioned quilting bee.


right after joining the group i was asked by a lovely young woman if i could make her a quilt. i of course said yes. she had just lost her 5 month old baby girl and couldn't part with any of her clothes but knew she couldn't hang on to all these clothes. her first thought was could a quilt be made out of them. after looking at what she had i decided we could make a heirloom quilt from the baby's cotton dresses but she still had a whole lot of onesies and such and she really wanted something she could hang on to and cry on and sleep with and just have with her at all times. My quilting friend Linda made the heirloom quilt and i made the other two.

this is mom's rag quilt. i took 5" by 5" squares from the baby's onesies and you turn the seams outward to create a rag effect.

this is the heirloom quilt from all the cotton clothes

and then for the dad i made a t-shirt quilt from all the little onesies he had bought.

encouragement

i am realizing that encouragement is a very delicate thing. most people encourage you with what they think you should do in a given situation. in reality you must do what God wants you to do. and to do that and encourage that may not sound like encouragment at all. sometimes the best encouragement you can give is silent and the best love is without guilt.

and then began to beat again

this is a most special day to me.

today is my 8 year wedding anniversary.

when mark and i prayed about what day we would wed i felt God whisper in my heart "you always felt your life ended on may 2nd so your new life will begin on may 3rd."

such a sweet God to think of everything, even the perfect day to get married.

the day my heart stopped

today is the day 21 years ago that my heart stopped. it took quite a few years for it to start beating again. but it did and i'm glad. i wouldn't trade my life now for anything, but sometimes i wonder. what would my life have been like if my first husband had lived.

how many children would we have had?

what kind of life would we be living?

would we even still be married? next year would be our 25th wedding anniversary.

so many questions.

the fact remains that he did not survive, he went to meet Jesus on may 2, 1989 and be with our 2 babies in heaven.

i believe you can't live through something like this and not have it change you forever. the choice is always how will it change you, for better or worse. i believe i have been changed for the good. death made me hard at first, like a protective shell, but as time went on the shell grew soft and finally fell away.

but i still remember especially on this day.

i often wonder

my boss from my very first adult job passed away a few weeks ago. as i was reading her obituary i was struck with something her son said. the obituary stated that his mom was a praying woman who led many people to the Lord, and was a light to many. wonderful words for his mom.

when i worked for this woman, which was about 23 years ago i was as close to not knowing the Lord as a person could get. during my 3 years of employment i never felt the love of Jesus as i know it today. i would have to be honest and say i only felt judgment, shame, and a feeling of never quite doing my job good enough. as a matter of fact when i left this job i purposed in my heart and mind that if being a christian meant being like her i didn't want anything to do with it.

so what happened? was it me? was my heart so hard that not even this praying church woman could see any good in me?

i'm not sure what the answers are but it has made me realize...am i as guilty as her?

how many people have i treated shamefully or ignored?

how many people have i stepped across or pushed aside to get to where i am without so much as a second glance?

how many people have decided they don't want to be christian if they have to be like me?

Lord forgive me if this is true.